Nightmare3

Dear V

I know you're not here yet, but I'm writing for you anyway

well, at the time, things aren't going well. And I'm not sure if I can see you smile in the future, so I just start imagining how your smile would look like when we're traveling and telling stories to each other, and I die every time I do this. Because after imagining you smile, I come back to reality and you're not there with me. I'm not sure if you'd be smiling or crying while you're reading this. I'm not even sure if you'll ever read this, and it took me 20 minutes to write these lines. It's hard to write to someone who's not there yet.

Right now, I'm not sure if I can survive the insanity, but the thought of having you around is the only thing that's giving me hope to move on. These corrupted people drive me insane and I end up diving deep in my thoughts, daydreaming about you sitting on a bench next to me, while I tell you my adventure, the things I've been through, the things I've done. The things I've tried, the places I've been to.

I'm trying not to cry while I write this. It's hard not to cry when you're writing to the most important person in the world. some people might find this cute, some people will find it idiotic, others might find it odd that I'm talking to the daughter I don't even have. But I don't give a damn. I write what I write and NO ONE can change it but me.

I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you, whatever the hell you are, whoever the hell you are, whatever the hell you believe in, You'll always be the most important person in my little corner of the universe. And I love you more than a drowning person loves air.

Also, I wish I'll be a good parent for you. I don't know if I'll be. I don't know if I turn out to be a good guide for you, so one of the reasons I'm writing this is to remind the future Night how I feel about you and remind myself what's actually important.

I think people should do this. So they wouldn't hurt their children once they found out what their children meant to them. So they would cry like I'm doing after they read their own letters to their kids and become a better parent. Then accept their children and love them like they wrote they would.

Thank you for reading this V

I know I don't say it that much to you

but I love you

goodbye.